#66 With friends like these...

You live a very healthy, long, and happy life.

The theme of this article is something that has been on the back of my mind and I would like to explore further with you. Here is a quote from a rom-com movie where the protagonist says “People in our life are everything. When one of us is hurt, we all do.” It made an impact on me in a profound way, albeit tangentially to the context in which she spoke. I felt vindicated, yes, for sure by a dialog from a movie, of all the things. The reason for such an impact is that I paraphrased in my mind, the quote as “Family and friends in my life are everything. When one of us is hurt, we all do.” Appositely, the contrary is also very much true. When one of us has achieved something, we all celebrate.

I have believed for a long time and practiced too, to be honest, in bringing my family up and growing up along with my friends as an integral part of my existence. They always have been within and not without. Let me illustrate this point in my life.

My family: Some time ago, I came across a jazz version of Ful Elise by Jon Batiste. It may have been one of my kids posted the audio snippet. I really liked it and next thing I know is that the tickets for his performance land in my inbox, courtesy my kids as a joint gift for both Jaya and me for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. It was a thoughtful gift, and way better than yet another coffee mug. I can’t blame you if you say, “it is not a big deal, they are your family.” At Mountain Winery just before the concert.

My friends: The partners in crime. The “crime” – At least once a week (typically on a Friday) we go for a hike, usually about 5 miles on the trails in South Bay. Our routine is to go for the hike and then retire to a pub for a pint or two or three, and some finger foods. Normally, we would spend around 6 hours between the two activities. We are longtime friends with our friendship spanning 50+ years. One would wonder, what could we have to talk about for 3 hours every week, but we never had a dull moment. The photo below is at halfway point on Quarry trail in Saratoga, California. It is about 3.52 miles from the parking lot. The two intrepid hikers are wearing similar color outfits and are way fitter than me. I attribute that to the two being two years younger to me.

These two gents in the photo are extremely patient with my relatively slow pace, and it is not uncommon for me to be about 20-40 feet behind them. I always felt that they feel like sitting in their Ferrari on a traffic choked freeway, to hike with me. But being the good friends that they are, they would give up on me. They were empathetic and understood my struggles, accepted my real constraints, and tolerated my perceived nay imaginary constraints.

I underwent a significant physical and physiological changes in the last 9 months due to change in my diabetes medication. I lost about 40lbs in weight and have been experiencing fewer hypoglycemic episodes than before though the hypoglycemic episodes have been more intense than before.

As time progressed, I noticed a subtle change in their interactions with me during the hike. The changes were so subtle that it took me a long while to realize they have been nudging and sometimes even shoving me to push my limits and overcome my constraints. One such example is engaging me in a conversation while hiking. For a long time, for me it was either walk or talk but not both. Once they sensed I was doing better, they changed their game plan. Soon, I am walking AND talking on our hikes.

The point I want to make is that the friendship has been a more engaging and active one (no pun intended). It is not just constant encouragement and support that is typically attendant in good relationships, it is more than that. It is about having that intimate awareness of what is happening to me and contouring their interactions accordingly. This is something that one would assume to take place in kinship, but to have it in friendship is a blessing. Let me prove my point with an anecdotal example.

Let us roll back to November of 2024. My weight was hovering between 196lb and 198lb, occasionally touching 200lb. My HbA1c was around 7.2. The image below shows my fitness level.

It was a relatively short hike as seen by the distance hiked and the cumulative elevation gain. I was huffing and puffing all the way. The image below illustrates my physiological data on that hike.

There are few noteworthy points that establish the baseline. My max beats per minute (bpm) on that hike was 188 and average is 134bpm. I stayed 18.9% of the hike time in zone 4 (39 min out of 133 min).

Fast forward about 10 months to a week ago. I am around 160lb and all the weekly hikes that became part of my existence, while very painful travel times (often 60 – 90 min) have become my raison d’etre.

We went to the same location with a longer hike and much more difficult climb, as you can see below, with one more dear friend, M. In the last few hikes, I noticed my hike buddies kept me engaged in a conversation, and soon I am walking and talking, or the proverbial walk the talk. I will bestow the honorific of “mother hen” to M for constant vigilance in protecting the weak one. She and rest of the gang are constantly checking with me and that made me feel less fearful of experiencing a catastrophic hypoglycemic episode and embolden me to push myself.

This time around the distance is longer, the elevation gain is TWICE as much. But I did it. I pushed my diabetes to the limit, in the sense that I started feeling hints of hypoglycemic onset almost at the top (half the distance). Of course, I ate my trusted apple, and hydrated with Gatorade and within minutes, my hypoglycemia symptoms went away.

The image below gives you a glimpse into how much improvement in my physiological state has been achieved. My HbA1c is at 6.9, I am about 38lb+ lighter. The most important improvement can be seen in the below graph.

On a hike, that is 2 miles longer, twice as much elevation gain, the percentage of time I spent in zone4 is 14.3%, and it is 39 minutes out of 210 minutes. I attribute this remarkable accomplishment (if I may say so myself), could not have been possible without my family and friends.

Epilog: These days I come across quite a few articles on old age loneliness and its devastating impact on one’s physical and mental well-being. The parental estrangement is reaching an epidemic proportion; I infer from these articles. The generation that grew up afraid of their parents are ending up afraid of being estranged from their children. I am fortunate to not having to fear my parents and fervently hope that my fears of being estranged from my family and friends are without a foundation.

My face as a football

Then – FIFA version.